moved-ughjohnwatson:

do you ever get in those moods where you don’t feel like reading and you don’t feel like being on the internet and you don’t feel like watching a show and you don’t feel like sleeping and you don’t feel like existing in general

babyblanketcoughsyrupcarnival:

me, talking to a dog: you’re soft. are you even aware of your mortality? of course ur not. u pure, wholesome and sentient unselfish being. do u feel that? that’s my heart. i love you. look at those ears. here take my wallet

littleturtleduck:

awake-society:

😭❤️😭

lukas-langs:

leggyboyjohnson:

transmedicalismkills:

istudypirates:

malkiewicz:

Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

My favourite is explaining the difference between a butt dial and a booty call

It’s called connotations.

Try this one on for size:

“Forgive me, Father, I have sinned”

“Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been naughty”

great news! Language is now banned

scarlet-benoit-is-my-rolemodel:

This is 100% how anxiety works

goldkat-g0negrey:

garbagefingers:

fancy-trashblog:

averagefairy:

when vinny from jersey shore is more educated on climate change than the actual president

I did not expect this, but I love it

😍

Originally posted by showuthedarkside

*Gives you head because you had a long day*

brood-mother:

2018 mood

humoristics:

Trends that made a comeback

3rddoctor:

Stealing your archenemy’s newspaper is definitely the most productive way to utilize your ability to stop time.